The adventure began in Sydney,
When West Auzzies piled into a taxi,
Virgin airlines made us very late,
So Hawaiian airlines escorted us to the gate.

But Neil’s ESTA Visa had not been completed,
So he was feeling defeated,
With the help of the staff, a number and a laugh,
Neil, on airplane, was warmly greeted.

The Hawaiian morning was bright,
And the bus driver’s humour was light,
As he relayed ways Hawaiians eat tinned spam,
A swim in the pool, a walk on beach with breeze cool,
And we were ready for another flight!

Good morning LA, as blurry-eyed we made,
Our way to the waiting coach,
Monique managed to find, the three South Australian men-kind,
And the Honeymoon couple and Bri.

Then it was off to Hollywood where Patricia and Brian
Had sussed out the lay of the land,
Gay couples abounded, universal studios astounded
And we visited Disneyland and Venice sand.

Tony, the gentle Sun Diego coach man, drove us to Vegas strip,
We were there in time for a Nevada sunset, and to give many tips,
Hoover Dam or the Grand Can took up most of one day
Only Les was paid a wage for not flying, hooray!
At midnight a party welcomed him again to the trip.

Spo-can, not Spo-cane, was the new destination,
We saw Combines on hills that defied imagination,
The farm visits had begun so the men were a-buzz,
Then came a border crossing, mountain time and midnight,
Dereck managed to drive the bus up the hill,
Like the coach in Cinderella story to the restaurant to have our fill.

Bunking in at 1:30am was the plan,
Followed by morning swim at Radium for the family clan,
Then to Banff we headed in the hope of seeing grizzly bears,
Instead we viewed gondola, vodka, rafting and a deer.

Off to the Canadian Prairies
Where once again the men were drooling,
At farm machinery, crops, waterslides and pooling.

Golf at Kenosee was a challenge in the rain,
Lynette won the trophy, while the non-golfers stayed sane,
With indian music and listening to bird-calls,
A nice evening was spent in the 4-H club hall.

The Hutterite Colony was a great place to visit
Though living there may prove to have too many rules you might agree
Such as laundry days, dining times and career opportunities.

The next stop for the ladies was tomato soup with handicapped folk,
Whilst the farm visits continued for Scott Day and the blokes,
In Winnipeg the group had much to say
As Dereck was almost convinced to come as a stow-away!

The group split in two to travel to Detroit
Marshall on Wilmac bus picked us up at Airport
We turned up at the wrong Monsanto farm
Lynette and Jeanette were brainstorming alright
Marshall led us to the place on the last rays of light
Where lively Bruce Noel and his burgers did us no harm.

I am running out of steam for writing this rhyme
But how can I miss out so many memories in time
Wet Niagara, crowed New York, the happy Amish,
Beth’s gymnastic fall, Rod’s sinus small, Brian’s limp tall, the coughing call!

The museums of learning, the research farms,
The McDonalds and Wendys stops that did us no harm.
The friendships on the bus, the state troopers we met (Mike slow down!)
The locals were surprised with our classy accents.

A ‘Trip of a Lifetime!’ Bill promised this crowd,
‘The Amazing Race’ in which you all did us proud.
You carried your bags and slept on the bus
You adapted to change and made little fuss
So I’ll charge my glass and put down my pen
Farewell hardy ‘ranchers’, safe travels ladies and men.